Fed Up
February 28th, 2008 by aleanorI can’t take it anymore, I will do it today. If this is what it takes to be successful financially - heck it all.
Moving back to blogspot…
May 14th, 2006 by aleanorAt crossroads…
March 18th, 2006 by aleanorIt’s 2 a.m. I am sitting here contemplating my future. All day now I have been feeling exceptionally low. I should correct that, I have been feeling low a while now. When was the last time I felt true joy and satisfaction? Is it always going to be so difficult? Life that provides only repetitive events, fears and shadows? Will time truly ease the pain or prolong it? Will people seek to understand, beneath the words and beneath the tears?
My time in studying law has taught me the significance and the multitude interpretations that can be derived from mere words. An apple may never always look, smell, taste or feel the same for different people. How do you seek to explain with words? Is it possible even to say a single sentence without it being misconstrued by at least one person in a group of ten? I read blogs all the time, and the comments that are made in retaliation, or in support of the words proves my point. No one can singularly capture the heart and essence of the communication but the speaker, or the writer.
I find myself finding it more and more difficult to communicate as time goes by. I am reminiscing about the days when no words are necessary to communicate the heart and the soul. When people around you understand what you say, or not say. Slowly I withdraw deeper in my shell, trying desperately to retain my spirit, and my soul. It is so easy to hurt others, though it is not of your intention.
Will I be able to find the wisdom? To find the path that will shields the soul and yet integrate with the environment? Truly, my belief and my faith is cracking. And I do not want it to be so.
Joie de vivre … will I find you?
Ningen wa, dai suki desu. Watashiwa aiisteru. Hon to ni, aiisteru. Yamate kudasai.
Guangzhou Week 2
March 18th, 2006 by aleanorBeing able to travel for work is great … you get to experience the working culture in different societies. What you experience when you travel for holidays is just not the same …
People in Guangzhou are very hardworking, very passionate about their work. Just look at the security guards, who take their job very very seriously. They check anything and everything when you enter, and when you leave the Company grounds. The guard salutes when he stops the bus (which takes the staff to and from work), and salutes when he waves the bus driver off. And I really mean salute …
People are generally loud in Guangzhou, they speak in vociferous voices … Its like they are scolding people all the time. Which in certain departments they really are. What we may perceive as a rude thing to say/do, they take it in stride. No doubt about it … people here are different …
I sometimes have a tough time here, not everyone speaks Cantonese. Since my Mandarin is basically the ‘hi and bye’ type … I cannot rely on it for a way of communicating with people who speaks it as a first language. Even my Cantonese feels terrible here … why? Because I am not used to speaking/thinking in Chinese when I am at work. Also because their Cantonese is a little different from the Hongkies … ‘Pak wa’ (literally translated white language) is what they refer to as Cantonese! LOL. Takes some getting used to, their language. It can be really frustrating when at work, because it is difficult for me to get the message across, can get really dampening. Suddenly you realise how good your Malay is. LOL. At the very least, I never really had a problem in communicating what I want.
Makes me feel really shy to be Chinese … Well, overseas Chinese anyhows. Because of the way you look, you are assumed to be one of them. But once I open my mouth, there is no doubt that I am not. Sticking out like a sore thumb? Seems to be my greatest achievement thus far …
Day 2, 3, 4 and 5
March 10th, 2006 by aleanorTuesday, 7th March 2006
First day at work in Guangzhou. Woke up real early at 6.00 a.m. Breakfast at 7.00 a.m., company provides a bus ride to the factory at 7.40 a.m.
8.45 a.m. We landed at work rather late, traffic jam. Instead of going through the round of introductions first, the three of us sat down for discussion on our strategy to approach the work.
-work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work-
1.00 p.m. Using the voucher provided to us, we went to the canteen for lunch. I-don’t-like-the-food. Still, its free.
-work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work-
5.30 p.m. Packed up in a hurry and took the same bus back to the hotel.
7.00 p.m. Colleague took us out for dinner.
9.30 p.m. Back to hotel, took a nice long bath. Spoke to hubby. ZZzzZZzzz
Wednesday, 8th March 2006
Repeat of the same day yesterday. Managed to go through the round of introductions. I think I must have been introduced to like 50 people since Monday. I can’t remember them all…. Still, at least I managed to take some pictures while in the bus on the way to work today. Some ’sights of China’. Will post it up soon.
Good news is the problem with the accommodation has been sorted out. The client will pay first. *phew* hehe
Thursday, 9th March 2006
Same thing day in day out … Took some more pictures on the way back from work. Wanted to take pictures after I went on a tour to the factory. Dressed us up like doctors or lab-technicians, depending on your view. With a cap nevertheless. Thought I looked kinda cute. But apparently the rules are strict in the factory. The grounds are confidential, so no pictures. 
Friday, 10th March 2006
What tedium. I am growing mould on my back and mushrooms on my head … Well at least it’s the weekend. Have to wake up at 6.00 a.m. to get some final briefing from the manager. *yawnz*
Another two weeks of these … *roll eyes* Not so bad when I have to work, usually ready to collapse by 9.00 p.m. Work is so hectic!
Manager and colleague (now ex) will be leaving tomorrow. Wonder what I will do tomorrow. Maybe I will be a little bit more adventurous and walk around Guangzhou. Take some more ’sights of China’ pics. hehe.
My ‘Exciting’ Travel
March 9th, 2006 by aleanorDay 1
5.00 a.m. Woke up after two hours of sleep in panic. Didn’t get ready the mini padlocks for my luggage. Rushed through shower and vanity.
6.00 a.m. Landed in my husband’s place, he saved the day by producing two padlocks from his possession.
6.30 a.m. Arrived at KL Sentral (phew?)
6.35 a.m. Called my colleague, he’s around but no clue where. Dragged my luggage (I had one big bag, one hand carry bag, my handbag, a coat and my laptop with me) up and down the stairs to find the place he said he is at. (Couldn’t be clearer??) Finally found a security guard and got directions.
6.50 a.m. Finally managed to check in via KL Sentral, feeling thoroughly irate.
7.00 a.m. Got on the express train to KLIA
7.30 a.m. Had some breakfast (got more irate, don’t ask).
9.00 a.m. Boarded the plane.
9.30 a.m. Flight takeoff!!
1.10 p.m. Finally landed in HK Airport (Chap Lap Kok or something I forgot) after some delay.
2.00 p.m. Met up with colleague based in Guangzhou, he was kind enough to come to HK to pick us up so we won’t get lost. Had lunch (I ate some pathetic looking sushi, didn’t feel like eating)
3.00 p.m. Enroute to meet the HK clients in the city. The cab ride from the airport cost us a whooping HKD 400!! Lucky I had sufficient …
3.30 p.m. Went through a whole round of introductions, beginning with the Group Regional Director. Had some discussion with colleague on current status of the job. (I am to takeover his role in Guangzhou) Client helped us get train tickets to Guangzhou.
4.45 p.m. Rushed out of client’s office to catch the train to Guangzhou. Had to change 3 different MRTs to get to Hung Hom, after which we ran all the way to the train station. (it was 3 minutes to 6.00 p.m.) We made it just in time for the 6.00 p.m. train. Thank god my colleagues helped me with the luggage, I struggled even with just the hand luggage, my handbag and the coat …
6.15 p.m. After some delay, the train finally took off. We went on our way to Guangzhou. I was tired, hungry and feeling extremely grumpy. Called my hubby to tell him I was on the train already. Ordered some dinner, ate it and promptly fell asleep.
8.30 p.m. Arrived at Guangzhou East train station. Walked some ways across the road to Tian Lun hotel.
8.45 p.m. Another hoo-haa … apparently the client does not have an agreement of sorts with the hotel and expects us to pay the hotel bills first before we claim it back from them. Not too bad you would think, except that the room cost a whooping RMB 650 per night! And I was staying for 20 days!! With great reluctance I swiped my card for RMB 12,000. SOBS!!! My poor colleague had to pay cash, (and he only had sufficient to pay for one night!) though he was only staying a week he didn’t have the credit limit on his card.
9.15 p.m. After all that hoo-haa, I finally got in my room. It looks lovely, but it is so painful to swipe the card. I hope it gets sorted out before I get back. If I have to pay for it first I will loose a lot of money … the currency exchange plus the fact that I know I don’t have sufficient cash flow to pay the bill immediately. The splendour of the room was lost to me cos I was so worried … Sighs. Made sure I did all the important stuff … unpacked, took a shower, messaged my husband, got the operator to set wake up call for me at 6.00 a.m. from now till the day I leave (very very important coz I wouldn’t have my lovely hubby to pester me out of bed), set the ‘contingency’ alarm clock, ate some instant noodles…
10.30 p.m. My hubby finally called me! Only the first night away from him and I miss him so. Hmmm come to think of it, ever since we were together we have never spent a single night away from each other (hmmm I think there was once for one night), and this time I will be away for a full twenty days!!
Before 11.00 p.m. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Guangzhou here I come!
February 27th, 2006 by aleanorI have just been given a wonderful opportunity to work in Guangzhou, China for a while with a Hong Kong client. It will do wonders for my learning curve, not to mention my CV but I am so stressed with the load of responsibility!
I am sure all will be well … *breathe in*breathe out* I do know I will do my very best! Will be back in Malaysia in April.
Hmm… since I haven’t been to Guangzhou before, it will be nice to go visit some places. Who wants to go visit me?
Let’s talk about the “UNDO” button
January 26th, 2006 by aleanorIt just hit me today while I was in the toilet …
(Ok I had nothing else better to do alright?)
I rely on the "Undo" button a lot … As well as the Ctrl A, Ctrl-X / Ctrl-C and the Ctrl-V button. So much so I am starting to forget that outside the PC world, you can’t quite do that…
1. Walk out of the toilet … oops I left my tag behind … "Undo"
2. I narrate very interesting news that I just overheard to my colleague. Another colleague comes along and says "What? What?" Ctrl-A + Ctrl-C
3. My sister asks me "Hey that’s new! Mum bought?" I answer "Ya, yesterday." Ctrl-A + Ctrl-X (or emphatically click on the "UNDO" button)
4. I fell asleep before I finished my report. Ctrl-A + Ctrl-X + Ctrl-V (to a different hour or better still, another day)
5. My husband pokes me in the ribs (I am ticklish). Muscle reflex - lift arm and smash his face in. Ctrl-A + Ctrl-C, "UNDO" "UNDO", Ctrl-V, "UNDO" "UNDO", Ctrl-V + Ctrl-V, "UNDO" "UNDO" 
Ok confirm I am bored. My husband has gone out with his friends. And I am BORED!!!
The Wooden Bowl
December 5th, 2005 by aleanorI guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. "I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly,
"What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
I’ve learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
Remember what we sow
December 5th, 2005 by aleanorTreasure such as gold
Always cherished when old
When life’s love folds
Remember what we sow
Use the fork, use the plough
Plant the seed, softly blow
Here we are, here we go
The lore is shaped as we sow
Touch it light, touch it slow
Don’t be hasty, don’t be a droll!
When life’s love folds
Remember what we sow
Plant the columns, plant the rows
Pray live, pray grow!
Here we are, here we go
The lore is shaped as we sow
Time travels, wind blows
Without a cloak, it grows cold
When life’s love folds
Remember what we sow
The river, make it flow!
The sun, make it glow!
Here we are, here we go
The lore is shaped as we sow
Look high, look low
Wish it silver, wish it gold
When life’s love folds
Remember what we sow
