Whimsical Lair

It’s 2 a.m. I am sitting here contemplating my future. All day now I have been feeling exceptionally low. I should correct that, I have been feeling low a while now. When was the last time I felt true joy and satisfaction? Is it always going to be so difficult? Life that provides only repetitive events, fears and shadows? Will time truly ease the pain or prolong it? Will people seek to understand, beneath the words and beneath the tears?

My time in studying law has taught me the significance and the multitude interpretations that can be derived from mere words. An apple may never always look, smell, taste or feel the same for different people. How do you seek to explain with words? Is it possible even to say a single sentence without it being misconstrued by at least one person in a group of ten? I read blogs all the time, and the comments that are made in retaliation, or in support of the words proves my point. No one can singularly capture the heart and essence of the communication but the speaker, or the writer.

I find myself finding it more and more difficult to communicate as time goes by. I am reminiscing about the days when no words are necessary to communicate the heart and the soul. When people around you understand what you say, or not say. Slowly I withdraw deeper in my shell, trying desperately to retain my spirit, and my soul. It is so easy to hurt others, though it is not of your intention.

Will I be able to find the wisdom? To find the path that will shields the soul and yet integrate with the environment? Truly, my belief and my faith is cracking. And I do not want it to be so.

Joie de vivre … will I find you?

Ningen wa, dai suki desu. Watashiwa aiisteru. Hon to ni, aiisteru. Yamate kudasai.

Being able to travel for work is great … you get to experience the working culture in different societies. What you experience when you travel for holidays is just not the same …

People in Guangzhou are very hardworking, very passionate about their work. Just look at the security guards, who take their job very very seriously. They check anything and everything when you enter, and when you leave the Company grounds. The guard salutes when he stops the bus (which takes the staff to and from work), and salutes when he waves the bus driver off. And I really mean salute …

People are generally loud in Guangzhou, they speak in vociferous voices … Its like they are scolding people all the time. Which in certain departments they really are. What we may perceive as a rude thing to say/do, they take it in stride. No doubt about it … people here are different …

I sometimes have a tough time here, not everyone speaks Cantonese. Since my Mandarin is basically the ‘hi and bye’ type … I cannot rely on it for a way of communicating with people who speaks it as a first language. Even my Cantonese feels terrible here … why? Because I am not used to speaking/thinking in Chinese when I am at work. Also because their Cantonese is a little different from the Hongkies … ‘Pak wa’ (literally translated white language) is what they refer to as Cantonese! LOL. Takes some getting used to, their language. It can be really frustrating when at work, because it is difficult for me to get the message across, can get really dampening. Suddenly you realise how good your Malay is. LOL. At the very least, I never really had a problem in communicating what I want.

Makes me feel really shy to be Chinese … Well, overseas Chinese anyhows. Because of the way you look, you are assumed to be one of them. But once I open my mouth, there is no doubt that I am not. Sticking out like a sore thumb? Seems to be my greatest achievement thus far …

Tuesday, 7th March 2006

First day at work in Guangzhou. Woke up real early at 6.00 a.m. Breakfast at 7.00 a.m., company provides a bus ride to the factory at 7.40 a.m.

8.45 a.m. We landed at work rather late, traffic jam. Instead of going through the round of introductions first, the three of us sat down for discussion on our strategy to approach the work.

-work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work-

1.00 p.m. Using the voucher provided to us, we went to the canteen for lunch. I-don’t-like-the-food. Still, its free.

-work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work- -work-

5.30 p.m. Packed up in a hurry and took the same bus back to the hotel.

7.00 p.m. Colleague took us out for dinner.

9.30 p.m. Back to hotel, took a nice long bath. Spoke to hubby. ZZzzZZzzz

Wednesday, 8th March 2006

Repeat of the same day yesterday. Managed to go through the round of introductions. I think I must have been introduced to like 50 people since Monday. I can’t remember them all…. Still, at least I managed to take some pictures while in the bus on the way to work today. Some ’sights of China’. Will post it up soon.

Good news is the problem with the accommodation has been sorted out. The client will pay first. *phew* hehe

Thursday, 9th March 2006

Same thing day in day out … Took some more pictures on the way back from work. Wanted to take pictures after I went on a tour to the factory. Dressed us up like doctors or lab-technicians, depending on your view. With a cap nevertheless. Thought I looked kinda cute. But apparently the rules are strict in the factory. The grounds are confidential, so no pictures.

Friday, 10th March 2006

What tedium. I am growing mould on my back and mushrooms on my head … Well at least it’s the weekend. Have to wake up at 6.00 a.m. to get some final briefing from the manager. *yawnz*

Another two weeks of these … *roll eyes* Not so bad when I have to work, usually ready to collapse by 9.00 p.m. Work is so hectic!

Manager and colleague (now ex) will be leaving tomorrow. Wonder what I will do tomorrow. Maybe I will be a little bit more adventurous and walk around Guangzhou. Take some more ’sights of China’ pics. hehe.

Day 1

5.00 a.m. Woke up after two hours of sleep in panic. Didn’t get ready the mini padlocks for my luggage. Rushed through shower and vanity.

6.00 a.m. Landed in my husband’s place, he saved the day by producing two padlocks from his possession.

6.30 a.m. Arrived at KL Sentral (phew?)

6.35 a.m. Called my colleague, he’s around but no clue where. Dragged my luggage (I had one big bag, one hand carry bag, my handbag, a coat and my laptop with me) up and down the stairs to find the place he said he is at. (Couldn’t be clearer??) Finally found a security guard and got directions.

6.50 a.m. Finally managed to check in via KL Sentral, feeling thoroughly irate.

7.00 a.m. Got on the express train to KLIA

7.30 a.m. Had some breakfast (got more irate, don’t ask).

9.00 a.m. Boarded the plane.

9.30 a.m. Flight takeoff!!

1.10 p.m. Finally landed in HK Airport (Chap Lap Kok or something I forgot) after some delay.

2.00 p.m. Met up with colleague based in Guangzhou, he was kind enough to come to HK to pick us up so we won’t get lost. Had lunch (I ate some pathetic looking sushi, didn’t feel like eating)

3.00 p.m. Enroute to meet the HK clients in the city. The cab ride from the airport cost us a whooping HKD 400!! Lucky I had sufficient …

3.30 p.m. Went through a whole round of introductions, beginning with the Group Regional Director. Had some discussion with colleague on current status of the job. (I am to takeover his role in Guangzhou) Client helped us get train tickets to Guangzhou.

4.45 p.m. Rushed out of client’s office to catch the train to Guangzhou. Had to change 3 different MRTs to get to Hung Hom, after which we ran all the way to the train station. (it was 3 minutes to 6.00 p.m.) We made it just in time for the 6.00 p.m. train. Thank god my colleagues helped me with the luggage, I struggled even with just the hand luggage, my handbag and the coat …

6.15 p.m. After some delay, the train finally took off. We went on our way to Guangzhou. I was tired, hungry and feeling extremely grumpy. Called my hubby to tell him I was on the train already. Ordered some dinner, ate it and promptly fell asleep.

8.30 p.m. Arrived at Guangzhou East train station. Walked some ways across the road to Tian Lun hotel.

8.45 p.m. Another hoo-haa … apparently the client does not have an agreement of sorts with the hotel and expects us to pay the hotel bills first before we claim it back from them. Not too bad you would think, except that the room cost a whooping RMB 650 per night! And I was staying for 20 days!! With great reluctance I swiped my card for RMB 12,000. SOBS!!! My poor colleague had to pay cash, (and he only had sufficient to pay for one night!) though he was only staying a week he didn’t have the credit limit on his card.

9.15 p.m. After all that hoo-haa, I finally got in my room. It looks lovely, but it is so painful to swipe the card. I hope it gets sorted out before I get back. If I have to pay for it first I will loose a lot of money … the currency exchange plus the fact that I know I don’t have sufficient cash flow to pay the bill immediately. The splendour of the room was lost to me cos I was so worried … Sighs. Made sure I did all the important stuff … unpacked, took a shower, messaged my husband, got the operator to set wake up call for me at 6.00 a.m. from now till the day I leave (very very important coz I wouldn’t have my lovely hubby to pester me out of bed), set the ‘contingency’ alarm clock, ate some instant noodles…

10.30 p.m. My hubby finally called me! Only the first night away from him and I miss him so. Hmmm come to think of it, ever since we were together we have never spent a single night away from each other (hmmm I think there was once for one night), and this time I will be away for a full twenty days!!

Before 11.00 p.m. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz